Herding cats....

I went along to the all school mass yesterday as a parent helper. I asked the teacher in the morning if she needed more help. She said she thought they were all set, but if I wanted to come, that was fine. She is new to the school, and this was her first mass with the pre-K. Haah, boy, was she ever wrong!

She only had one parent attend, for 14 pre-k students, along with her room aide. I was the second parent. I would say at least 1/2, if not more, of the students had never been in a church during a service before. I don't believe the teacher (whom I don't believe is Catholic), prepared the kids for 1) what Mass would entail 2) what the behaviour expectations were.

It was horrible. If I had any reservations that A had attention deficit issues, my fears have been resoundingly put to rest. A was the best behaved child there. Quiet and repectful. The teacher DID NOT have control over the class. There were pages ripped out of the hymnals (which the kids should have been told not to touch - they can't read, why do they need them?), kids tried to wander, talk, play, etc. It was exactly like trying to herd a group of cats.

I tried to follow the teacher's lead - I didn't want to step on any toes or cross over any lines with other people's children. But it got so ridiculous, I started to enforce my own rules. The little girls sitting by me finally got that I was serious, and behaved, with more than a few glares in my direction. One little boy took 95% of the teacher's time and attention. If he behaves like that in class, I'm not sure the teacher has any time for any other child. He was horrible, horrible. The teacher couldn't control ANY of his behavior.

There was a little girl who was sitting by the teacher's aide who just wouldn't listen. When the aide left to take another child to the bathroom, I tried to get her to behave. She just looked at my defiantly and told me "no, I won't". Geez, when did kids loose their fear other authority figures? My children wouldn't dream of telling an adult "no, I won't" to a request like "sit down and be quiet".

A is so much more mature and well behaved than her classmates. Perhaps my fears have been unfounded. It is hard not to compare your children to their siblings at the same age. Compared to her classmates and peers, she is more in line with the Kindergateners, than the Pre-K class and way beyond them in impulse control, behavior and ability to listen.

I now plan to attend the weekly school mass, because obviously the teacher needs as much help as she can get. But I shudder to repeat the experience. I do expect kids to wiggle, get bored, and have age -appropriate lapses in behavior. I didn't expect a three-ring circus. Of couse, the Pre-k sits in the very front of the church, so no one could miss any of the antics.

I was so incredbly proud as A, who ignored her classmates and fully participated in the service, singing the hymns she knew, reciting prayers.