The girls attend Mass weekly at their school. Wood or I usually try to adjust our schedules to attend with them. This past week, I sat with A's class. The priest doing mass was one that is very young and who connects very well with the kids, involves them and makes things understandable for them.
For his Homily, he talked to the kids trusting God. He used the analogy along the lines of "you know how you know that your mom and dad will be there for you every single day when you get home from school? You know that they will take care of you, no matter what? How they took care of you when you were a baby? Fed you, clothed you, were there for you every single day? That is the kind of trust you can put in God." He made this point several times, in several different ways, relating the care of a parent to the constant care and love of your mom and dad.
A has the faith of someone 4x's her age. Her connection with, and absolute trust in God is awe inspiring. It has been this way since we knew her. She has intense focus on the suffering of Christ, and relates to this in a way I've not seen any child do. Of course, she has gone through more in her short life than most adults. Her faith was established and very real to her when she came home.
Her approach God in prayer has taught me much-she is a child who speaks to a loving parent. She offers to God her joys, hurts, wonderment, confusion, disappointment and all that she has experienced. She has always had absolute certainty that God isand has been with her always.
The correlation made in church between parents and God upset her greatly. She said that there are times when a mom and dad can't take care of you forever - that they just can't be there for you even if they want to. So this brought into question for her that God could possibly be the same way, and she wants to know when God might not be there for you too. This has been her one constant, the one thing that she has always known that she could rely on with absolute certainty. She had tears rolling down her face and she wanted me to take her home, instead of returning to school.
She continues to be very upset about this- it has shaken her in a way I've not seen before. And I'm at a loss to "fix" this in a way that is clear and understandable to her.
As a child, my parent was definitely NOT of the type Fr. Tim was speaking of, so I can see/feel the inherent flaws in his analogy. One of the great fears many of us have that of orphanhood, that those we love will abandon or neglect us. My daughter has taken this situation in her life and believed with all her heart and soul that God has never and would/could never do the same. Jesus, in the Gospels, assures us that we are forever beloved children in God’s eyes - a message that has been received in a very heartfelt way by A.
How to restore the message for her that God is the good parent who yearns to lavish perfect parental love on us?
Luke 13:34“How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings.”
Matthew 6:8“Your Father knows what you need before you ask.”
Matthew 23:9“Call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father -- the one in heaven.”
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2 comments:
Have you thought about approaching the priest on this? He might want to talk to A or have some ideas about how to approach talking with her. Also, maybe her reaction will give him something to reflect on and perhaps give him ideas on a new approach to this topic that might benefit everyone in the church. Just a thought...
Oh Edie this is so sad to hear. I was thinking the same thing as Christina, that maybe it's a conversation that you have with the priest and express your concerns to him.
Poor A, that girl has a deep soul for sure. Hugs to both of you!
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