hair and other ramblings...

I REALLY need to do A's hair today. I last did it the weekend before Halloween, so it's lasted a good long time. A asked for small, individual braids last time, which I rarely do. Why? Because I hate taking them out. They take absolutely forever to take out - about as long as they did to put in. And then, I still need to do hair after I spend a few hours taking them out.

I feel I should have a better attitude about doing hair and not dread it sometimes. This time of year is tough - I have to work at least 8 hrs today (Saturday), and about 6 or 7 hrs on Sunday. And still find about 4 hrs somewhere to do hair. I'm finding work increasingly unrewarding - retail is really a brutal contact sport. But I do look forward to working incredibly hard, motivating my team, and that elated feeling when we really nail a major event. The hard work and stress has a purpose. But these days, all the hard work and incredible energy, and doing more work with less employees, is rewarded by....total failure. It's hard to play the game when you know there is almost no chance at all to post a win, to meet a goal. Must be how it feels to be the Detroit Lions :) If the goals are not met (which are set at the beginning of the year), I'm rated a below expectations, or a far below expectations on my performance review. There are no exceptions - the plan is the plan - period. 3 below expectations (rated every 6 months) and you are replaced.

My house is a mess, I'm hopelessly behind on laundry. The laundry that did manage to get done (by Wood, not me!) is piled on the furniture in the family room. We have overdue library books and videos from the video store. The kids have a birthday party to go to today, and I remembered to get a present, but not anything to wrap it in. I feel like everyone else can manage their household, just not us.

storm over

We got about 12" - 15" total - not as bad as expected. Looks like daily snowfall, but smaller amounts, every day for the next week. I had to stay at work to replace those who couldn't make it in, and we should have closed at 9pm. But the gals in the Salon ran late with a client. So I was at work yesterday from 9am - 10:30pm. It's so going to be a loooong weekend.

Oh, and the dentist - he asked ME if A could be older than turning 5 in December. I told him she was. He said "do you know that for sure?". I said yes. He said, while not conclusive, he thought by looking at her teeth development that she was about 6 months older, at least.
She's getting one of her permanent teeth BEHIND her baby tooth. Looks like another candidate for braces someday. Big brother B and A both had braces. At age 6.5, G hasn't lost any teeth yet.

Snow, snow, snow

Big storm last night - we got about 6" -8" in the city - much more in surrounding cities, where all the schools are closed. Winds last night were in excess of 26 mph. Today they are still quite strong. Our local schools aren't closed today, despite severe snow warnings and 10-12" of more snow to come. Will definitely not help my business, and I'll have to cut staffing today and tomorrow considerably.

Miss A goes to the dentist today - she is excited beyond belief, for some unknown reason! I'm already tired of bundling the kids up, boots and snowpants to go everywhere. We'll be doing it until May, so I'd better get used to it.

The unknown

Someone asked me at work yesterday how we could add a dog to our family without ever meeting them. Wasn't it hard to base a decision so permanent based on a picture and a friend's 4 hr visit? Weren't we scared of the unknown?

We welcomed a child, our daughter with open hearts and arms and all the info we had on her was a single photo and three partial sentences describing her - "laughs out loud", "best attached to caregivers", "walks holding onto table".

Sometimes, you just have to trust and have faith.

New family member....

Introducing.....Cooper








We have owned a dog, Jack, for the past 12 or 13 years. He joined our family when he was 1year old, from an animal rescue league. Jack was a Jack Russell/Beagle mix - a reall y bad combination for a dog - all of the energy and nutso-ness of the Jack Russell and all the stubborness of a beagle. Jack was the only dog I've been unable to train. After a period of time, we were able to influence his behavior enough to make it work for everyone. When we first got him, he was spastic and wild. As he aged, he mellowed somewhat - for him, at least. Our biggest regret was that he never liked the little girls. When G was born, the noise, crawling and unexpected behavior of a baby really threw him for a loop. Then when A entered the picture - he thought we had lost our mind to bring ANOTHER one home. The girls loved him dearly, however. We always watched them carefully together and taught the girls to treat him gently and to respect his space. The two older kids, he was fine with them and really adored our son, B.

Jack's health deteriorated and we had him put to sleep in the summer. By this point, we didn't allow the girls to pet him or be in his space at all. The girls have missed him very much. Even though he wasn't much of a dog for them at all. G in particular, has always been a dog person - she never played with baby dolls, but stuffed puppies. Recently, she asked if we ever got another dog, if we could have one that was fun this time, and that you could even play with sometimes. We all loved Jack, but he was not much of a dog for the girls.

We decided to get another family dog - one that could really fit into and interact with our entire family and be fun for the kids. I've been looking online at our local humane societies/shelters and haven't found anything appropriate for kids and our family. I won't consider any type of pit bull, chow, doberman or rottie mix. That eliminates about 2/3's of what is in the shelters. We started expanding our search farther and farther, figuring we would be heading downstate soon, on account of my grandfather.

We saw Cooper's listing - he was in a foster home about 350 miles away. He was bigger than we were looking for, so continued searching. But we'd always come back to him. A good friend of ours has family in that city, and was just happening to leave for a visit. She offered to visit the dog and see what he was like. She spent quite a few hours with him. He is perfect for our family, mellow, great with kids, loves to snuggle up with you when you read, watch tv, etc. He is gentle and well behaved. So she will be bringing Cooper home when she returns. G is so excited she can hardly stand it. She marked the calendar with the days until he gets here. Today, she made a paperchain to mark the days (13) until Cooper gets here. She drew a pic on each chain link of things we will do with Cooper as family. On the last link she wrote "welcome home, Cooper!".

Cooper is a lurcher - which is not a breed, but a type of dog. They are very common in England and Ireland - not so much seen in the US. Lurchers are greyhounds mixed with working dogs. They are universally described as "40mph couch potatoes" and make great family pets.

Update on Grandpa

I heard from my cousin again tonight. My grandfather now also has pneumonia and he was transferred to a hospice home yesterday. They pulled his feeding tube, and he's had no nutrition since Monday. I guess I didn't realize that withholding nutrition is part of hospice pallative care. Wood and I immediately said to each other that if it ever comes to that, neither of us would want that done. My cousin said that hospice indicated that because of the discountinuation of the feeding tube, he was not expected to live much longer.

I had dozens of people in and out of my office today who needed me to make a decision on something, deadlines and schedules to be done and budgets to be planned and finalized. I just couldn't focus.

I knew when we traveled to Ohio over Labor day weekend that it would likely be the last time we saw my Grandfather, but, honestly, at his age, we've been saying that for a few years now. He's so strong and such a fighter. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that it is finally his time.

He's lead a long and facinating life. His father, my great grandfather immigrated to Canada from England as a young adult. He was an Episcopalian priest, who lead a church and raised a large family in Canada in harsh, primitive conditions, before moving into the US, where my grandfather, the youngest child in the family, was born on an Indian reservation in Minnesota (Bemidji). My great grandfather was a missionary for a long time there, before coming to Detroit. My grandfather spent a good deal of his childhood in Detroit, where his father lead the congregation of Old Mariner's Church, right down on the Detroit river, next to the tunnel to Canada. During the great depression, my great grandfather was instrumental in opening homes for the homeless, health care, and jobs creation in Detroit - work that my grandfather was a part of. My great -grandfather wrote a facinating book "Humor and otherwise in a ministry of 50 years", where I've gotten such a detailed glimpse of my family history. My entire family is staunchly Episcopalian, and my converting to Catholicism is a subject that isn't brought up - ever :)

We'll be making the long trip to Toledo, most likely in a few days.

sad news

I just got a call from my cousin in Ohio. My Grandfather, who turned 99 last month, is ill and not expected to live. When she explained what happened, it was my grandfather all the way - it started with "grandpa and his wife were out shopping".......I had to smile. At 99, he is out shopping. That's just the kind of person he is - he would never think of staying at home, away from life and what's going on.



I grew up in a very fractured family, and didn't really know my grandfather growing up - through no fault of his. He has continually reached out to me throughout all my adult life and made sure I was included in the family. My dad - his son- died over 10 years. Wood and I drove Grandpa and his wife to the funeral services, held at Arlington National Cemetary where my dad is buried.



On the way there, we stopped for fast food along the turnpike. As we were standing in line at McDonalds, my grandfather came up to Wood and I and said "you know, I had one of their Big Mac sandwiches once - it was very good!". Now I know why he lived until 99 - he was in his late 80's at the time and had had a Big Mac once in his life? When we went down to visit him for his 99th birthday in September, his mind was as sharp as ever.



I know that God will be with him as he goes home to be with my grandmother, my dad, and all his brothers and sisters.